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Old 02-24-2014, 12:27 PM   #1
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Zelda Rebooted, A LoZ Story

Welcome to my new story based off of The Legend of Zelda. I have yet to make the actual adventure, but here is the Prologue...
~PROLOGUE: A New World~
"The day the final blow was delivered to Ganondorf, Hyrule was saved...The hero had won...Hyrule then became New Hyrule, a land where large advances in technology were born..." A clip showed the car being invented in Hyrule. "The advancements were so great, they gained the ability to use greater weapons then the sword and shield...The days of the Hero were over..." A clip showed Link's house, with the Master Sword and the Hylian Shield hung on the wall above the fireplace. "Link opened a shop where people could buy video games so he had enough money to support himself..." The clip showed Link selling video games. "Who knows thugh, maybe a new weapon will be made and a new evil will rise..."
~END OF PROLOGUE~
As you can tell, I'm kind of doing a future spinoff of Zelda games.
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Old 02-24-2014, 12:30 PM   #2
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Seems decent but maybe less ellipsis.
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Old 02-24-2014, 02:22 PM   #3
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I won't lie, this seems like a lot more of a screenplay than a story.
And really hold back on the ellipsis.
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Old 02-24-2014, 03:18 PM   #4
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I was going to have a normal story on the first chapter...
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Old 02-24-2014, 10:04 PM   #5
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Saying things like "the clip showed" in any context other than someone in the story showing someone a clip of something makes no sense at all.
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Old 02-24-2014, 10:34 PM   #6
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Saying things like "the clip showed" in any context other than someone in the story showing someone a clip of something makes no sense at all.
That's what I was referring to as 'like a screenplay'.
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Old 02-28-2014, 12:00 PM   #7
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Quote:
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Saying things like "the clip showed" in any context other than someone in the story showing someone a clip of something makes no sense at all.
I meant for the prologue to sound like a TV show...
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Old 03-03-2014, 04:58 PM   #8
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Which you shouldn't do in a story unless you're actually writing it as a screenplay.
No offense meant, but that isn't how you are to write a story.
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