Destroy All Humans
Ever wondered what it would be like if aliens came to Earth? Now you can find out on the PS2.
Cryptosporidium 137 is a clone of the breed Cryptosporidium, from the Furon homeworld, Furon. Over the centuries, the Furon inability to reproduce naturally has been fixed by the ability to clone new versions of themselves. However, if the Furons continue this way, the DNA will degrade so much that they won’t be able to clone anymore, bringing the Furon race to extinction.
A discovery by a leading Furon scientist, Orthopox 18 has discovered that in the war between the Martians and the Furons, pure Furon DNA was scattered all over the Earth, and now resides in the brain stems of all human beings.
So Orthopox hatched a plan. He sent a Cryptosporidium soldier, Cryptosporidium 136 (our Crypto’s brother) to invade and covertly retrieve as much DNA as he can to restore the Furon race. But he never returns.
Orthopox sends another clone, our Crypto. This is where the fun begins.
Crypto wields a fierce arsenal of weapons, making him equivalent to a one-man army!
In the game, players can take control of four weapons. The Zap-O-Matic, the Anal Probe (which is even more fun than it sounds), the Disintegrator Ray, and the Ion Detonater. Each of these weapons packs a massive punch, and they all have the ability to be upgraded.
But this isn’t the limit of Crypto’s destructive capabilities. Crypto wields the psychokinesis power possessed by all Furons, although it is stronger in some than it is in others. Crypto can use his PK powers to lift people, cars and even military trucks and tanks into the air using only his mind, being able to throw them into buildings and even out of sight. But that’s not the only thing he can use PK for. When you’re out of ammo, you can use your PK ability to pop your opponent’s brain out of their head, killing them instantly, and providing you with the valuable Furon DNA inside the brain, which can be spent on upgrades for your weapons, PK abilities or your flying saucer. I spent ages doing this just to see people die! Plus, it’s funny watching them writhe as they know their doom is coming.
Crypto loves his saucer, and Crypto’s saucer loves him. It’s armed to the teeth with the latest in high tech Furon weaponry. The Death Ray, which incinerates anything it touches. The Sonic Boom, which fires powerful antimatter globules, devastating even buildings. The Abducto Beam, which can be used to pick objects up and fly them through the air, smashing them into buildings, or, if they’re a pain, just dropping them in the ocean. (I love snagging it on a building then flying away, then letting go, so it flies like a missile!) And the final weapon, the Quantum Deconstructor, the Furon mini-nuke. This is basically guaranteed to destroy anything it hits in one shot. Use it wisely, because you don’t have much ammo.
That’s not to say Crypto doesn’t have enemies, or why would he need the weapons? There are four alert levels. “Aroused”, in which the locals will have noticed you. Kill them before they can tell anyone! “Police” which means you’ll have policeman shooting at you, and cars trying to run you over. These guys yell out the funniest things when you chase them. “Army” where you’ll have the military swinging up in their trucks, delivering platoons of soldiers to kill you, as well as tanks and missile launchers. And the final alert level “Majestic”. Majestic is the Earth agency set up to fight aliens, and every one of their agents is equipped with a laser gun that cuts straight through everything. The only way to make the alert go down is to hide, and not get damaged for a while. I reckon this is a cool feature, because you know how much trouble you’re in.
But don’t think you can only go to one place… This game is so awesome that it offers five invasion sites, including Santa Modesta, Washington D.C. and Roswell! (Still wondering who the Roswell alien was?). These invasion sites are all selectable from the Furon Mothership, which offers a nice, techno selection screen.
Each invasion site is completely different. This adds to the semi-realism of the game.
Although, as good as this game is, I’ve found one major letdown. Crypto dies as soon as he touches water. This is so true that I couldn’t walk on the edge of the beach as water not even a millimetre high was lapping at my ankles. This is a major letdown.
I thought the game could’ve used a few more weapons… But that’s rectified in the later games.
And lack of multiplayer… This game needed like a duel mode, or cooperative mode during missions… That would’ve been heaps of fun! I heavily criticise this lack.
Alright, time to finish up:
Graphics: Graphics were good. Not great, not bad. Buildings could’ve used a little more intricate detail, rather than them just having blurry signage that makes them unidentifiable. Also, signs on the road were blurred, unless you were supposed to read them. It would definitely add more to the game to give better graphics. Having said that, the graphics on Crypto, Pox and his weapons are stunning. Great lasers and bolts of electricity look awesome when they make contact with human flesh. I give graphics 7.0.
Storyline: Storyline was great. If you wanna get this game, you’ll definitely enjoy watching Pox’s schemes get more maniacal and crazed as he tries to get all the Furon DNA he can. And, at the end of the game, he even collects enough virgin Furon DNA to give Crypto a little surprise… I give the Storyline 9.0.
Controls/Gameplay: Good. About as much as you can expect from a third-person shoot-‘em-up game. R1 to fire, that sort of thing. I give Controls/Gameplay 8.0.
Sound: Sound was alright, especially with people yelling things at you all the time. Some of the things they shout out are hilarious. I give sound 7.5.
Brawler rates this game:
Final thought: Should not be bought, but rented, as has little or no replay value.