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Old 02-21-2008, 09:49 AM   #1
gregulus
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Talking

ther were 4 pencils in a box..... 3 male nd one female...
the female got pregnant... who's responsible.????


The one without a rubber....

Mods nd Admin....
i m sorry if dis kinda stuff's not allowed....
i apologise...

but i strongly feel every forum ought to have some dis kinda thread...
wats life without a laugh...

Rest all's up to u ppl....

Teacher "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."


Kiss- Height of luv
Nipple- Peak of luv
Boobs- Shape of luv
Penis- Length of luv
Pussy- Depth of luv
Ass- Base of luv
Testicles- Weight of luv
****- Experience of luv
Suck- Taste of luv
Masturbation- Substitute of luv
Condom- Care of luv
Sperm- Cream of luv
Marriage- Mistake of luv
Pregnancy- Proof of luv
Child- Outcome of luv

Q: What kind of cats love the water?
A: Octo-Pussies.

Q: Who is the dogs favourite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx.

Q: What's a porcupine's favorite food?
A: Prickled onions.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A: A zebra with a drumkit.

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell garage.

Q: What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
A: Hot cross bunnies.

Q: What do you give a sick pig?
A: Oinkment!

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.

Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.

Q: What's the main difference between intelligence and ignorance?
A: I don't know and I don't care!

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep."

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.


It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?


Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of
either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.


Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Q How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard

Q Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept.........

Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

ppl.....
now i am posting some adult jokes.....
if its not allowed plz mods delete dem... nd i am sorry for that...

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.

Doctor: Ur knees all blistered?
Lady: Coz of doggy style!
Doctor: Cant u do it any other style?
Lady: Oh, I can, but the dog can't!

What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.

Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up and man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him and says: Pay you monthly, you bastard!

Ladies Hostel Caught Fire... It took 1 hour to bring the fire under control...and 3 hours to bring the firemen under control.

Q: How do we know men invented maps?
A: Who else would turn an inch into a mile!

Husband: I fancy kinky sex, how about I cum in your ear?
Wife: No, I might go deaf!
Husband: I have been cumin in ur mouth for 15 years & ur still ****in talking.

~~Merged by Elle~~

Last edited by Princess Elle; 09-13-2008 at 11:05 PM.
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Old 02-25-2008, 08:57 AM   #2
dasoll
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Tough Love
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells: "No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!
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Old 02-26-2008, 11:30 AM   #3
hasder
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rockerxs: ... U might wrote all jokes in one post.


YOU KNOW SPAM??????????????????
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Old 09-13-2008, 09:44 PM   #4
Mimi
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Why Did The Blonde Climb Over The Glass Wall?
















TO SEE WHATS ON THE OTHER SIIDE!! XD
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Old 09-13-2008, 09:55 PM   #5
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Some of those are kinda nasty...

Well, What do fish smoke?

Sea-Weed
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And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!
- Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) -
-Chris Rice-
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Old 09-13-2008, 09:58 PM   #6
Mimi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle Fanning View Post
Some of those are kinda nasty...

Well, What do fish smoke?

Sea-Weed
XD Good OnE!!

And Yeah They are Nasty. >.>
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