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Old 05-07-2009, 02:42 AM   #1
ShadowFox
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opinion needed

sailing through the stars a peace of mind enters your heart,your presence still lingers on as loved ones remember all that you have done.
quickly walk into the light you belong in heaven, you shouldn't have to suffer anymore while holding yourself back for any reason.
Signs of your everlasting inspiration are everywhere from blossoms to white clouds that pass by, your wisdom shall never be forgotten

this is a tribute for a dying neighbor i once knew as a kid and i wanna know what you think of it so far, its a work in progress and i wanna know if its a good start

any constructive criticism is welcome but comments that are like: oh your work is ****ty, wow you must suck,totally weak piece there is not welcome
please try to be civil to my works because i spent hours thinking them up and i would like to see some encouraging critiques for comments instead of bad ones like: you're emo go cut yourself while writing more ****ty stuff. i respect you please return the favor and respect me
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Old 05-07-2009, 10:40 AM   #2
KrystalRules
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wow. thats really good! you should write some other stuff.
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Old 05-07-2009, 04:00 PM   #3
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Why would someone say this is a ****ty work? It's quite good. I'm hoping to see the progress of this, if you're planning to share more of course.

I'm really sorry for your neighbor. I hope he/she gets better.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:05 PM   #4
DarkLegacy
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That's great
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Old 05-25-2009, 09:44 AM   #5
SeanMi
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yeah, this is really good.
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Old 05-25-2009, 01:32 PM   #6
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Very cliche, but definitely sounds good.

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