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Old 08-15-2009, 09:51 PM   #1
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Bit of an awkward situation...

Friends of mine are splitting as a couple and are now living apart. I'm learning this after not speaking to either of them for two weeks. I don't want to take sides, and I don't know exactly why they are splitting, or what the status of their divorce is, or anything, really. All I heard is what I posted, and that's just something one of them wrote online.

So what should I do in this situation? I want to talk to them about it, but I don't want to talk to one before the other, or one and not the other. I would just wait for them to talk to me first, but then I don't want to seem like someone who doesn't care.

This has never happened to me before; usually I'm not friends with both of them. Anyone in a similar situation?
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Old 08-15-2009, 09:57 PM   #2
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Well... I'm not in a similar situation, but I have something you might consider. Bear in mind that you should in no way take this as the be-all and end-all of information, and that you should probably listen to adults and not me, but I'll give you my opinion anyway.

Why not just be friends with them continuing, but just don't mention it? Just go about with them as normal, and if they bring it up, talk to them about it?
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Old 08-15-2009, 10:04 PM   #3
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See, they may not want to talk about it at all oP. So, I understand you don't want to seem nosy or intruding, but I doubt they will open up to you about the problem, as it could be personal, so you could always slowly bring it into a conversation.

But, I'd say Xenon has a fairly good idea, as then you obviously have shown respect for privacy, and that may be the security one of them needs to open up to you, if you understand.

They can't really view you as someone who doesn't care because you didn't ask, as it's not your business, and not prematurely interfering shows that you understand.

Think about what you feel is best from that my friend.
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:01 AM   #4
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I usually flip the situation around. Like put yourself in their shoes. Would you want your friend to talk to you if you were getting a divorce? Hope that helps.
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:54 AM   #5
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Well, since you haven't talked to them for two weeks prior, I assume that they'd have closer friends than just you. Since they haven't spoken to you about it, I can only guess that they would have already talked to closer friends of theirs about the issue.

If you really feel as if it is your duty to talk about it, I'm almost sure that if you talk to one of them for long enough, the topic will come up.

EDIT: Shouldn't this thread be in the 'Profiles and Blogs' section?
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Old 08-16-2009, 04:03 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alloftheabove View Post
Well, since you haven't talked to them for two weeks prior, I assume that they'd have closer friends than just you. Since they haven't spoken to you about it, I can only guess that they would have already talked to closer friends of theirs about the issue.

If you really feel as if it is your duty to talk about it, I'm almost sure that if you talk to one of them for long enough, the topic will come up.

EDIT: Shouldn't this thread be in the 'Profiles and Blogs' section?

To be honest, the reason I haven't spoken to them in so long is because I haven't been around. And apparently they didn't talk to their other friends about it, either.

But good thoughts in here, everyone. I appreciate it. I'm just going to go on as normal as possible and if they bring it up, I'll be supportive.

And this is neither a profile nor a blog.
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Old 08-17-2009, 04:46 AM   #7
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Well, I thought it was a bit of a blog, but I guess that's me.
Good luck, Ope.
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Old 08-17-2009, 05:02 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by op89x View Post
Friends of mine are splitting as a couple and are now living apart. I'm learning this after not speaking to either of them for two weeks. I don't want to take sides, and I don't know exactly why they are splitting, or what the status of their divorce is, or anything, really. All I heard is what I posted, and that's just something one of them wrote online.

So what should I do in this situation? I want to talk to them about it, but I don't want to talk to one before the other, or one and not the other. I would just wait for them to talk to me first, but then I don't want to seem like someone who doesn't care.

This has never happened to me before; usually I'm not friends with both of them. Anyone in a similar situation?
Well, stick by your friend. Talk to the friend about it. Maintain a pleasant rapport with the other should it prove necessary, but I maintain that your duty is to your friend here not the ex-friend-in-law.
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Old 08-17-2009, 04:44 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yelloflyte View Post
Well, stick by your friend. Talk to the friend about it. Maintain a pleasant rapport with the other should it prove necessary, but I maintain that your duty is to your friend here not the ex-friend-in-law.
They're both friends of mine.
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:08 AM   #10
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Quote:
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They're both friends of mine.
"This has never happened to me before; usually I'm not friends with both of them."
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