To keep with the game's feel and theme, I'm going to throw as many ****ing swear words into this review as a mother ****ing can. After all, this is Conker's Bad Fur Day!
Released in 2001 for the Nintendo 64, Conker's Bad Fur Day was certainly a stark contrast to the systems other titles. When you think of the 64, family friendly classics like Super Mario 64, Banjo Kazooie and The Legend of Zelda come to mind. Conker's Bad Fur Day is as family friendly as Ozzy Osbourne getting drunk of of his ****ing ass at a titty bar in hell. In fact, this is the only game to ever feature a warning label that I am aware of.
Though it is without a doubt Conker's most popular game next to his appearance in Diddy Kong Racing, let's take a look at where Conker came from. First, he a side character in Diddy Kong Racing, like I just said, and if you were ****ing listening to me I wouldn't have to repeat myself to your ass. then Rare made a Gameboy Color game called Conker's Pocket Tales. This game was actually extremely kid friend, even though it was really ****ing hard. after that, for whatever reason, those bastards at Rare decided to make him into a drunken, foul mouthed hilarity. I wonder what Conker thought about that decision?
The game starts with Conker sitting unhappily upon a throne with lots of people around him. He introduces himself as "Conker the Squirrel", and begins to tell you the saga of how he came to be king - a story he calls his Bad Fur Day. From here, the game goes into a flash back, and chronicles the events of that fateful day, all the way from his drunken stupor in a bar the previous night. Well, if you ask me, his drunk ass deserved a bad day. Little fuzzy jackass...
The graphics are actually even better than Rare's Banjo Kazooie series, and features some impressive facial animations. Matt Casamassina of IGN.com stated
"...if the Conker team is able to do this on Nintendo 64, what in the **** will these guys be capable of achieving on GameCube?". That's a ballsy statement, Matt. You must really have a pair, you son of a bitch.
The technical superiority doesn't stop there! This game has the most audio tracks of any other Nintendo 64 cartridge. Many of them are remixes of overworld themes, however. This does not change the fact that is an abundance of audio tracks, including the songs, voice clips and sounds effects, all of which are superb. My favorite song? well, of course that would have to be the great Mighty Poo song! but I'm not gonna post a link to that hear...if you want to spoil it for yourself, go to Youtube, but I strongly suggest you just play the game instead, you cheap little ****.
The game also has almost no load times at all!
So conker, how do you think your game stacks up to other Nintendo 64 games from a technical standpoint?
The controls are, honestly, a bit spotty. They take a bit of getting used to, but they aren't bad. They're more responsive than Banjo Kazooie's controls, but they still feel a bit "heavy".
The game consists of your average platformer tasks. You know, like getting drunk and pissing on fire demons, and...oh...nevermind. So the quests aren't all that conventional! That sort of absurd crudeness is what adds to this game. Does swimming through a river of cow shit song fun? No? Well that's just too ****ing bad, bitch!
This game is bloody too.
Now, why in hell would Rare want to make such a crude, rude, violent, disgusting game?
Hmm...I'm not sure. They sure are some crazy bastards...
Conker's also features a multiplayer mode in which you and 3 friends can pick a character, and use various weapons from the main story plus a few others to blow each other to bits and pieces...literally. If you shoot an opponent in the top right section of the head, the top right section of their head explodes in a blood spray, revealing the inside of their brains. I can't even think of a game these days that is willing to go that far.
Conker's, if you have not figured it out, is a comedy that is cartoony, yet adult in nature. The contrasts purposely compliment one another and make the game what it is. The game splits the fourth wall often, talking to you as a player, or even the programmers. It also pokes fun at several popular movies, such as Saving Private Ryan and...Hey, that's a spiffy new outfit, Conker!
Now that I think about it, that suit looks familiar...I remember! What, do you think your Neo from The Matrix or some shit like that? Little fuzzy bastard! That's kinda cute. now run along, and play Matrix with your friends.
To sum it all up, if Jackass and Robot Chicken had a baby, and then that baby took a huge shit in the Looney Toons toilet, that shit would be Conker's Bad Fur day and I mean that in the best possible way.