The Three Musketeers
Did you know that Alexandre Dumas' classic tale of derring-do featured floating airships, flame-throwing cannons and Mila Jovovich performing impossible Resident Evil-like acrobatics in an oversized gown? Neither did I, but that's what director Paul W.S. Anderson delivered to us with The Three Musketeers.
This over-the-top display is almost funny in its extremes. Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson and Luke Evans are passable as the musketeers Athos, Porthos and Aramis, but D'Artagnan (played by Logan Lerman) is such an arrogant little brat that you'll find yourself wishing someone would just do him in; rather a problem when you're supposed to be cheering him on.
Mila Jovovich is similarly uninspiring as Milady de Winter, a ruthless spy in the original tale, inexplicably re-imagined as a double agent, removing any intrigue she held previously.
Lurching from one numb action scene to the next, The Three Musketeers successfully serves up plenty of eye candy, but fails to make us care even slightly about the fates of those on screen. The fact that the main characters never seem in any real danger due to the over-choreographed and CGI'd nature of the fighting is less than helpful.
Paul W.S. Anderson would have done well to realise that while this approach has worked in the past for his Resident Evil series, the same wouldn't necessarily apply to one of the most revered tales in Western literature. A shame, as a faithful, swashbuckling musketeer tale should never go out of style.